Judging feminist choices.

A friend of mine wears her hair short, long in the front and short at the back. It would look pretty and feminine if she let it stay like that, but she keeps brushing the long strands behind her ears, and it looks like she cropped it short like a soldier. She wears checked shirts and pants and sports shoes, no earrings, bracelets, necklaces, skirts, no plunging necklines. She's often asked if she dresses like a guy on purpose. She's often called a tomboy. She vehemently denies it; hates even the suggestion. She thinks of herself as a complete woman. Wholely feminine.
And I've got to agree. It's her choice what to wear, what not to wear, even what to think, what not to think. It's her interpretation of femininity that counts. For me femininity is caring and sweet and kind and gentle. For her it may be strong and rooted, helpful and transient. It really does not matter.
Feminism is about doing what you want, when you want, however you want, irrespective of your gender. (Ageism is about doing it irrespective of your age. Similarly, you've got religion, race, creed, social position, financial position, jeez.)
We need to seriously get over ourselves. 

In The Trash.

At the book-launch of a moderately successful Indian writer, a fangirl+reader+aspiring writer asked a brilliant, strikingly original question. "Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?"
And of course, the author obligingly listed out some of the tips he thought would help. Surprisingly, he did not say, "Get smart. You know like in the Alia Bhatt video?"
One of these tips was, "Ensure nothing goes into the trash because of lack of planning."

What. I'm sitting there in the audience going, "Hey man. Okay. I have folders named "BadCan", "Trashcan", "WasteBin#Hate" in my computer, in my writing folder. You know I go in those folder, and I read my beloved trash, I sit in the trash can and I inhale the smell of my trash and I write more trash. I write trash fanfiction of trash fiction I've written. I sit there and I write more trash.  AND THIS PERFECT GUY, sitting up there on that podium, is telling me NOT to get anything go into THE TRASH? Babe, I write trash. I live trash. I love trash.